hysteria

two posts in one day?! HEEEEEEEE?

JET somewhat warned us of the ups and downs we were going to experience in japan. one year later, i am still subject to such emotional flip-flopping!

da story: today was a long day. i was at school from 8-5:30, then was driven by my supervisor over to the cultural center, where our culture festival will begin tomorrow. we practiced there till 8, and i was exhausted, but high on the fact that i'm going to be wearing a junior high school uniform for my dance performance tomorrow.

coupled with the fact that when i emerged onstage with the other dancers, the entire brass band began shrieking and catcalling at me.

dizzily happy after rehearsal, i was offered a ride from the 24-year-old math teacher. he's so tiny, so sweet, and so, so shy. i really like him, but he is always incredibly awkward around me, though polite.

i had no idea how this car ride was gonna go. we made our way over, yakking in japanese about the upcoming sports day (we're both running the relay), then he asked if it was okay for me to sit in the back. i assented, assuming that the front seat had junk on it.

i climbed in, and noticed that the front seat had nothing in it.

he climbed in, too, and we had lovely and spirited and non-awkward japanese conversation until he dropped me off. i was wondering why on earth he had made me sit in the back, thinking perhaps it was out of propriety?

then in dawned on me... a fun tidbit about japan i'd read months and months ago, maybe even a year ago. in japan, the seat of highest honor in the car is right behind the driver.

i. died. laughing. right there in the middle of my tiny kitchen.

he was honoring me!! BIGGEST LOLZ OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!

still chucking to myself, i showered and began to towel off in my room. that's when i heard it. the buzz. the clicking against my windows, behind my curtains. there was, by the sounds of it, a huge beetle trapped inside my room.

the only way to kill it would be to fling open my curtains. terrified, i began to sob. i skype-typed with matt, who told me to go outside and look in to see if i could see how big it was. i did so, then discovered the sucka was actually outside, chilling on my door divider. i sprayed him anyways. can't be too careful. sorry, beetle.

that brings my balcony insect corpse count up to 2. sometime i'm going to have to remove them..just don't know when yet.

anyways, i am all tapped out from the sheer joy and horror of today. wait for it...my next post will be about me performing in a tiny junior high school sailor uniform in front of the entire school.

spent,
riri

hush hush

nihongo is a language that is both great for murmurs and for screams. angry japanese is nasal, cutting, and jarring, slicing through the air like a flurry of numchucks. vocal pitches go up and down, up and down, and spittle flies. it's terrifying.

but most of the time, seeing as i'm faced with very polite, mild-mannered educator colleagues, the japanese i hear is quite mellowed out and pretty, especially from the women. whenever i see japanese people whispering, the whispers are sooo low, so barely uttered, that no one can overhear. my theory is that english is a lot harder to whisper due to the harder consonants and dipthongs...or, you know, the fact that we're barbarians.

for some reason, when certain japanese people come up to me, they speak extremely quietly. my vice-principal especially. he will approach and i literally have to lean forward in my chair 45 degrees to hear what he's saying. after a while we get mutually fed up with our differing volumes and peace out. typical interaction:

kyoto: "hello riri."
me: WHAT?
kyoto: "today is very, very hot."
me: "OH YEAH, I KNOW! FLIPPING OUTRAGEOUSSS!"
kyoto, embarrassed by my noise: "see you lata."

obnoxiously,
RIRI

otsukaresama desu

it's time for a lesson in japanese language and culture, my darlings!

one of the first phrases i learned in japan last year was "otsukaresama desu." there is no exact/proper translation, but here are some of the basic ones i've gleaned:

- you must be tired
- thank you for working hard
- life is honorably tiring
- good job

it's a very common phrase, one that i use countless times per day. it's how teachers greet each other in the hallways and how to say goodbye when teachers leave. it can be applied in a variety of situations -- at sports matches, after lifting a heavy box, after singing a song well, or accomplishing virtually any task.

it's also used in totally hilariously, at least in my opinion. my favorites are when it's used by people in service to customers. for example, after taking a long bus ride, the driver says to everyone, "otsukaresama desu." or when i hand the train station worker my ticket, and he says it. or that time after i got a massage.

it's like, yeah, you know what? i DID do a good job of sitting there! thanks for noticing!

okay, lesson over. i literally have nothing to report because school has been very slow, and my life is similarly very uneventful at the moment, haha. on the plus side, the cicadas are gone, the mornings are cooler, and it's almost lunchtime here in the office. pip pip, jolly-o, i'm off!

honorably tired,
riri

low-class LECHERS

the other week, i had mused aloud to tracey about the differences between rinkadink trucks in japan and in america.

since nobeoka has a lot of rice paddies, there are many farmers who drive around in shabby little white flatbeds, quite similar to ones you might see gardeners driving around back in the states.

however, said american trucks are almost always filled to the brim with men leering out of the windows at any unfortunate female who happens to be nearby. in delightful contrast, in japan, when you catch the eye of the truck driver, he will inevitably bow politely and continue on his merry way.

SO. MUCH. BETTER. america, get your act together.

anyways, despite the occasional stares or dropped jaws, i really appreciate that men are overall very demure in japan. as far as i know (KNEW), men don't blatantly stare women up and down, no one whistles at girls, there's no outrageous yelling of comments at women walking down the street.

DISILLUSIONMENT #92854: my first encounter with a drive-by cat-call.

so i was walking to the miyazaki city train station saturday morning, when a car with two twenty-something or thirty-something dudes with dyed hair and shaved eyebrows pulled up next to me. typical yankee-types (yankee here means like bad boy, haha).

"HI!" the driver shouted, as his friend leaned out the window to leer at me. flipping GRINDS MY GEARS.

"hi," i responded without a smile, rolling my eyes for good measure (i'm becoming a lot better at being a biotch now that i've encountered a few creepos).

they continued driving slowly to keep pace with my walk. i looked straight ahead while they jabbered to each other, then the driver called again, "HI!"

i turned and gave them my best "you are fools, die in a fire" face with a flicky sarcastic wave (i should have remembered sarcasm is a lost art here in japan). the guy mimed for me to take out my earphones, as i was listening to my i-pod, and when i loudly said, "BAI BAI," he asked in japanese where i was going.

"nihongo wakarimasen," (i dont understand japanase) came my reply. they sped up a bit and were turning left. i had an inkling they might circle the block to talk to me more, so i crossed to the other side of the street.

i was right. they reappeared, saw i was turning right, and did a goofy u-turn so that one more time they could drive past me while shouting in japanese and grinning wildly. honestly, i was so irritated that if i'd had a brick in hand i would've chucked it.

and so ends a rather tame tale of young male idiots. i wouldn't have posted if i hadn't been so surprised by it--it was very unjapanese! also, i think i've become really soft as a result of living here. it's time to resume being my stone-cold killa, ice queen self. oh wait..

world class marshmallow,
riri

foreign perks

this past weekend, 4 country bumpkins headed to the big city! aka nico, tracey, keith and i made for fukuoka, the biggest city on kyushu.

it's a lovely city. you might recall that i went last year in november for the sumo tournament! this was my first legit trip back, and it was bomb.

the shopping in fook makes miyazaki look like a third world country. i honestly think there are thousands of stores in the city, it's ridiculous and heavenly. i ended up buying a scarf for the outfit i'm wearing to matt's brother's wedding in october, and was also on the hunt for a purse.

i meandered into a rather expensive store that had beautiful, buttery leather purses. the lady working there was really sweet and chattered away at me in soft japanese, while i pretended to understand. then, when i finally decided on a purse (with the help of tracey), here's how our interaction went down.

me: gimmeh DAT ONE.
lady: mm...okay!
me: yeah, yeah...wrap it up and plastic and junk
lady: oh! anything you want.

she did it REAL quick.
then i was all, "GIMME DAT GAI-JIN DIZZCOUNT."

she looked real scared. she wanted to see my pazzport. i was all, "I DONT HAVE IT. AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT...WE'RE GONNA HAVE TROUBLE." she bowed and was like, "sorry!" and she gave me the purse....FO FREE.


SUCH JOKES! what actually happened was that i was very polite and bowed a lot and i think she liked that, so when it was time to pai, she asked if i had my passport. i didn't, but i showed her my foreign registration card, and she gave me a tidy little discount for no reason other than being a foreigner. cheers, bebe!

oh yeah, and a lady at the post office similarly loves me because i'm a big fat clown, and she gave me candy on monday. FO. FREE.

perkily,
riri

chirren

japanese kids win. sorry, world!

besides their undeniably cute puddums, their personalities are the best. either sweet and polite, or genki and curious, they warm my little heart!

example: a long time ago (aka like 6 months ago), i was walking home from school when i spotted some neighborhood kids. i called out "konnichiwa," which they yelled back, then as i passed, i heard one self-importantly declare to the others, "amerika-jin datta yo!" (that was an american, yo!).

haha. dang tootin'.

another example: a few months ago, i was walking home in the pouring rain. i had forgotten an umbrella like the damn fool i am, so i was literally soaked through and through, makeup running in brown streams down my face, the works. some kids (with umbrellas and galoshes, show-offs) on the opposite side of the road were walking home.

i called "konnichiwa," and they responded in shocked awe. then, timidly, one of them blurted out, "otsukaresama desu" (you must be tired/you have worked hard). LOL!

third example: when the sakura were blooming back in march, i went for a walk by the local elementary school. it was right as school was letting out, and the playground is lined with cherry trees. the kids had all collected handfuls of the fallen pink blossoms, which they carefully carried in front of them, going home. two girls stopped short upon seeing me, hands full of flowers. one grinned at me, then threw all of her petals up in the air in a spectacular show of floral confetti! i loved it.

lastly: yesterday, as i walked back to school from the post office, i passed two small children playing on a stoop. i waved to them, and they waved back. then, in a sincere effort to make my heart explode, one warbled, "kirei desu" ([you] are beautiful).

i. die.

dead,
riri

dog days

hello from the hottest place on earth. though i'm currently sitting in a nicely airconditioned staff room, outside it is like a gigantic sweaty armpit. however, i must say that i think it's a bit cooler than last summer! thank goodness!

weather talk aside, life has slowed considerably since my last post. my school is on summer holiday, which means that most teachers are on vacation. aka i'm often jibun de (alone) in the staff room with absolutely nada to do. i know i'm supposed to be studying japanese, but really? for 8 hours a day? NOAP

so now i'm discreetly updating da blob. you're welcome! i think that it's safe to say that the hong kong blob will never come--sorrrrrry. suffice to say that it was awesome. for now, i'll recap the past few weeks!

i tried to cram in as much time with mashuu as i could before he departed for the emerald isle he calls home. the week before he left, we and some other JETlings got together in hyuga (city a half hour south of nobeoka) for a beach bbq. MASH made amazing kebabs for grillin', we played soccer in the sand (i say 'we' loosely; i quit after 10 minutes), and waded up to our knees in the ocean. it was a perfect saturday summer afternoon!

then, much to matt's chagrin, two kiddles started chasing him with water guns

he tried to tackle them, failed. they schooled him!

some of the bbq tomodachi

frolicking in the sand

that night, we headed south to miyakonojo, where some jets were gathering for a night out. ended up staying out until 5am, oops! mcdonald's later in the morning cured all. it's the breakfast of hungover champions!

the following week, matt was evicted from his apa-to (aka his lease was over), so he came to stay in nobeoka for a few days before his friday departure. it was really lovely having him around!

the night before he left, we went back to the little indian restaurant in nobeoka where we ate on christmas eve last year. it was dang good.

e-e-e-e ecstasyyyy

anywho, the next day i left work at noon to accompany matt to drive to takanabe, where he finally relinquished the mystery machine to tristan (who looks way more like shaggy than matt does, so it's fitting), say goodbye to tristan and claire, and then head on the train to the miyazaki airport to say goodbye.

a few airport beers later, we said adieu (for now!) and i headed over to carmen's. she and tracey and i got a delightful conveyor belt sushi din! ooo, and we got to meet some of the new JETs! they're so fresh and full of questions. just wait until they're disillusioned and bitter, like me. JOKES!

the next day, it was the erekoccha festival in miyazaki city. aka the opportunity for us gai-jin freaks to dance in the streets. before practice, though, we walked around, i ate a delicious jersey milk soft-serve, and we watched other performances.

like these kawaii girlios from omiya high school (i did their english camp last year!). cuteo cuteo! lol they danced to "under the sea" as we screamed from the sidelines

we bustled over to the city hall to re-learn the same dances we performed last year. the most adorable japanese granny EVER teaches it. i was so happy to see her again!

whereas other groups form organized, rigid lines for the parade of dancing, our group was a formless, shouting blob of excitement and missteps. everyone loved us.

but they loved the cross-dressing group of perverts behind us even more. these fellas were complete with fake boobs and drunken, suggestive dancing.

and yes. they shamefully even had a guy in blackface. oh, japan!

our haphazard dancing troupe of fools

the festival also had lots of pretty girls in old-fashioned-type dresses and hats. i thought these chicas were really cute in their yellow! and the dresses remind me of charlie brown's shirt.

after the dance, i had to get a pic with my wannabe japanese granny! SO CUTE. SO TINY.

it was literally a festival extravaganza that weekend. the next day was the nobeoka hanabi (fireworks; lit. flower fire) festival, which could only mean one thing--tracey's and my friend abe-chan would dress us up!

summer kimonos are called yukata, and while tracey had bought hers at jusco, the local department store, abe-chan was kind enough to lend me one of hers. she was also kind enough to give us a sushi and donut dinner prior to dressing us! she's a total sweetheart!

it doesn't look like it, but these bad boys are extremely tight around your middle. various ropes are cinched at your waist, i guess to prevent breathing.

once finished, obvio we had to have a little photo shoot outside!

me and abe-chan

the fireworks themselves were amazing, as usual. japan seriously has the best fireworks shows i've ever seen. they last for about 40 minutes, and set off hundreds upon hundreds! the riverbanks were crowded with people when we showed up, including some of our students (embarrassing), but we had a grand time.

honestly, nothing much happened last week. i had zero to do at school, though i did get a health check (healthy as a hog, go fig) at the hospital. ooo, and on friday, nico+keith+tracey+junko+new JET gerhard+me went to pian piano, a bootleg pizza place in nobeoka. yum!

then, on saturday, we headed to hyuga for their matsuri. it's famous for being a fertility-themed festival, so we got to watch different groups of masked japanese people grinding their loins onstage. it was highly entertaining! basically, first a person in a fox mask comes out, then a person in a lady mask, then a bunch of dudes. if you watch this wee video carefully, you'll see that the leader of this group (far right) is an adorable tot in the fox mask! cuteo cuteo!



after the festival, of course we went to mackers (south african nickname for mickey d's), then to keiths for some drank. sufficiently tanked, we got our paws on some fireworks and went up to the rather seclusive kadogawa lookout point to set them off. hooray!

and as for this past week, though it was largely uneventful, we did have a welcome party for new nobeoka neko tierra (from washington, dc) at a local izakaya. and THEN, on wednesday, all hell broke loose at school...

JOKES. but it was cake day!! my muzza (how they pronounce mother here, haha) had sent me a box of yellow cake mix and funfetti frosting last year, and they sat sadly in my kitchen for months, since i have no oven. but since my supervisor and i had nothing to do at school, she suggested we have a cooking day! i told her i'd bring "trashy cake."

with the help of mimura sensei, the home ec teacher, we made trashy cake and my supervisor made absolutely drool-worthy yakisoba (MY FAVORITE) and wakame soup. we had a humongous lunch, then i frosted and sprinkled the two cakes (they were too lumpy to stack on each other to make one double-layered cake).

i sprinkled the funfetti on one, and let mimura sensei sprinkle the other. obviously, i totally covered mine--but she only used a little bit, which completely cracked me up. although i wanted to use all the funfetti, i decided to let it go.

we were joined by several other teachers, who all oohed and aahed over the cake, commenting on how very "american" it looked (why?!). we noshed on the cake and some coffee, and everyone seemed to like it just fine! yay!

we still had another cake left, though, so we brought it to the ladies who work in the office downstairs. they similarly were excited by the "american colors" and "cuteo"-ness of it, and yesterday each lady came to personally thank me, awww! so sweet!

anyways, it's just about lunch time here, and i wanna get ma grub on. this weekend i'm off to fukuoka for some shopping with da peepz, so perhaps next time i'll be bloggin' about that. sorry for the reticence on my part, i never learn!

hungry mungry,
riri