8 months down, 16 to go!

hello dere,

so it's been a while since i've posted about what's going on in the little town of nobeoka. what can i say, other than...i'm lazy?

i suppose my initial enthusiasm of having to capture and write about every minute moment in japan has finally been worn down. japan has defeated me. i iz brokez.

UHHH JOKES?! every day brings a new surprise, new hilarity, new strangeness. since i have literally posted jack diddly about the month of march, perhaps it's high time i gave you the nitty gritty. shall i post in chronological order for your pleasure?

march 1 - graduation ceremony. the kiddles wept, i wept, someone fainted, and everyone pretended not to see it.

march 2-11 - prepared, very much in vain, for my parents' presumed trip to japan.

march 11 - earthquake and tsunami. basically, i was at school, alone in the staff room while the teachers were in a meeting, when the doors flew open and teachers began running and grabbing their cell phones. my supervisor told me that everyone had to go home, and that if a tsunami was to hit our shores, i should come back to school. i biked home in confusion, talked to matt and waited for something to happen. nothing did, at least down here. thank goodness, kyushu wasn't affected at all, and still isn't. all i can do is thank God, because the north continues to be a mess.

march 13 - it is decided that i will go home to murica. i almost die from the excitement.

march 18 - i fly home to california, with a suitcase full of japanese snacks and nothing else.

march 18 - 25 - home, sweet home. had the best time ever, saw peeps, saw fam, ate truckloads and felt like the luckiest dang girl in the world. also had unfounded and rather spectacular rage towards random people for being rude and loud. was surprised to return to japan and feel like i was coming home.

march 29 - got a stupid haircut. showed them a picture of the haircut they gave me last time, and ended up with something drastically different. didn't know how to say "uhh, this is chotto bungled," so thanked the man politely and biked home in the rain.

march 30 - farewell enkai for teachers. every spring, when the japanese school year ends, schools have massive transfers. most teachers have to change schools within the prefecture every 3-5 years or so. one of the people leaving: my supervisor. i was really sad when i found this out, and made sure to pour her lots of beer at the enkai. she was so lovely to me!

march 31 - helped to move in the new english teacher. aka, went to his apartment, saw that the entire track and field team were moving in his stuff assembly-line style, and "supervised". i love that the students happily help move in the new teachers! i especially love that i didn't have to do a damn thing.

april 1 - 3 - visited hansam mattsy down in saito. thanks to the warm weather, the cherry blossoms started to peek out from their branches, and we went to saito-baru to check out their beauty (as did half the population of miyazaki. japanese people love the sakura! they even have "viewing parties" called hanami, where they picnic under the trees).

see? these elderly folks were dancing, no less. sidenote: every old lady in japan wears a little bucket hat. no joke.

these aren't mustard plants, but i forget what they actually are. the japanese eat them!

not in full bloom, but getting there!

also not in full bloom, but getting there. ZING!

love the sakura...if only they could be around all year! but then maybe we wouldn't appreciate them so much.

after blossom-gazing for a sufficient amount of time, kibbehcat and i went to nosh on the biggest plate of chicken nanban in the history of japan, then got a ke-ki setto (cake set) at an adorable cafe! pigfest 2011 continued that night, when we teamed up with more of the jetling crew to celebrate chris's birthday with a sumptuous indian feast and subsequent boozing.

the boozing got off to a very bad start. we went to a little bar (well, they're all little), and were surprised to see young mothers standing outside the door, holding their babies. at 10pm. we then went inside, only for the mothers to follow us...into the tiny, smoke-filled bar. holding their screaming infants.

call me crazy, but perhaps the babies were unhappy because
1. the bar was really loud
2. it was way past the babies' bedtimes
3. the bar was full of smoke that was poisoning them

the vibe was bad. the din of the screaming children was quite the mood-killer, and the other girls and i were furious at the negligence of the mothers (me especially. i was all full of gai-jin rage). so we left and went to "the bar," a western-owned and baby-free establishment that was much more conducive to our imbibing.

honestly, i have no recollection of what i did during the following school week, other than that i had no classes and therefore tried to study japanese for 8 hours every day (wildly unsuccesfully).

the next weekend was the nyuugaku shiki (opening ceremony) for the new kiddles. kawaii! they shuffled in, all awkward-like, and after a really long ceremonial role-call and endless speeches, we sang the school song and everyone shmoozed in japanese while i slunk away back to the teachers' office. i found a treasure trove of candy marked with a dozo sign (means "go ahead!") and took a shameful amount.

oh right, so all this happened on sunday, so we got monday off of school. i cleaned my apartment, went on a long walk to get some groceries (since my dear bike was stolen...), and did loads of laundry. the exciting life of a foreign educator! i haz it.

yak yak, in other news, yesterday as i walked home from school, i sensed someone biking behind me. an old, creepy man slowly pulled up next to me. several immediate warning signs:

1. really bad teeth. as anyone who knows me well knows, i think people with rotten teeth are untrustworthy. LOLZ
2. a faint, but distinct, foul smell.
3. sunglasses. japanese people NEVER wear sunglasses!

he began by half-shouting: gaijin-san! ms. foreigner! (mm...rough translation)
me: aaa...konnichiwa
ha-san (mr. teeth): asljfklsjlf eigo no sensei desu ka? (are you a teacher?)
me: hai, seiun koko...(yeah, seiun high school...)
ha-san: sou desu ka? (is that so?) *begins slowly looking me up and down, giving particular attention to inappropriate places*
ha-san: klajsdklfj okuni kara akljslfkj nan desu ka? (basically, where you from, girl)
me: america.
ha-san, still with the once-over: alksfjlkadlfj
me: *weak laughter*
ha-san: chikaku jfalkjslkdf sumimasu ka? (you live around here?)
me, not wanting to tell him anything: mmm...tabun (maybe)
ha-san: keitai no bango... (telephone number)
me: uhh...arimasen? (uhh...don't have?)
ha-san, suddenly aggressive: terephone. NUMBA.
me, more firmly: dekimasen. (cannot)
ha-san, back to just being creepy: jlsnalfk watashi no apa-to...(this is my apartment)
*ha-san walks his bike over to his apartment. i take a mental note of where it is.)
me, so relieved: BAI BAI.

it wasn't that big of a deal, but i became really irrationally angry after that encounter, mostly because: (wow, i'm into the short lists in this post)

1. i'm too afraid to be rude to a japanese person because: (SUBSET LIST?!)
a. japanese people are really scary when they're angry.
b. i don't want to badly represent murica.
c. everyone knows everyone in nobeoka and if word got back to my school that i was a huge biotch to someone, i'd be really ashamed and the entire hierarchical food chain at my school would hear about it)

2. (now we're back to why i was angry, btw) i don't have enough ability in japanese to convey what i'm thinking, or even to hint to someone that i have to go or can't talk.

3. a lot of people (anywhere in the world) think that they can treat you however they like just because you are different. like, that the rules of etiquette don't apply. maybe i'm wrong, but i feel like this fool wouldn't come to a screeching halt on his bike to harass a random japanese woman.

4. there is no possible way for me, or any non-japanese-looking-person, to blend into this society.

sighhhhh, sorry that in the last few posts i've been complaining a tad. i'm supposing (hoping?) that it's natural at this stage to have some dissatisfaction and cultural fatigue. i've said it so many times, but i do have to reiterate it, even if only for myself: i'm so lucky to be here, it's such an easy life, and there's so little to whinge about! ^_^happymasho (let's happy!)

i am plum tuckered out from all this typing. my blog endurance has tanked. time to build it back up! especially because, this time next week, it'll be the eve of my departure with kibs to AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND! get ready, southern hemisphere. we're comin' for ya.

excitedly,
riri

DAME DA YO.

bike got stolen. the world is shocked.

really, japan? after all we've been through?

disillusioned,
riri

the long recanting of hokkaido

i'm sorry! i'm sorry! after much wild speculation, reported boycotts, riots, and even assassination attempts, the BLOG IS BAQ. due to seemingly endless torrent of work, play, disaster, and even a hiccup in america, i have been effectively MIA for a month. please forgive my flakey ways, and enjoy the long-awaited post about hokkaido!

should be grand, especially considering i've forgotten many of the crucial details about what we did. yee-haw!

well, mr. matthew, irish traveling buddy extraordinaire, and i left for fukuoka on a bus saturday, february 5th. the ride passed uneventfully enough, what with us snoozing and all. but we caught our hikoki (airplane) just fine that afternoon, making it into sapporo, the fifth-largest city in japan (domo, wikipedia!).

the first thing we did was step outside to feel just how cold it was. it was really cold. didn't feel so at first, but then the wind kicked up and i wished i was dead.

but there was plenty to deter from my morbidity! the kuko (airport) itself was bustling with people weaving between copious omiyage stands. after snagging our luggage, we booked it to the subway, which led us to walking distance of our hostel/hotel?, the marks inn.

stepping out onto the street after our long subway ride was a thrill and a terror. though the pavement wasn't covered in snow, banks of it lined the sidewalk, and patches of ground were hidden beneath thick sheets of rock-hard ice. we slipped and skidded our way to mark's, where i believe, if memory serves me right, we immediately fell asleep. WAIT, no we didn't! we went to get food!

we had met up with another jet, chris, and his visiting friend adam, and the four of us ended up at a small ramen place, where i had a scrumptious soy sauce ramen. i had started to get sick the night before leaving, and the salty broth helped clear my mucous-laden head a little.

we were wowed by artisans working on their sculptures on the way to the dinner, and stopped to snap some pics on the way back:

swordfish!

hack, hack, drill, drill

as lovely as the sculptures were, we were dead tired from the day's travels, and happy as clams in ramen, conked out.

the next day, we awoke bright and early to high-tail it to church. SHOCK-U! there are churches in japan? BARELY. but kibs knew of one because a family friend had done a lot of work at this church, the lighthouse church, in sapporo for two decades. we took a long subway to the outskirts of the city, then hopped in a cab, which took us to the boonies (aka suburbs) of sappy town.

there was much snow.

california cat says: WUTS DIS

we entered, and were greeted by a lovely (i think english?) girl who showed us where to sit and explained about the services. matt and i were meant to introduce ourselves to the little crowd at the end, which by now has become de rigeur. we plopped, and watched as families filled up the 40 or so seats. kids were everywhere!

a short while later, as everyone settled in, the service started. there was music, readings, typical church stuff--but all was in japanese, so much was lost on me!

...one hour later, i was thinking, alright, this must be like Mass..should be over soon...

...

...after two hours, it finished. i guess i inherited the penchant for drive-thru church from my dear parents, cause i had lotsa ants in my pants by the time it concluded. it was great, though, cause we happened to pop in on the monthly church lunch day! FREE GRUB! we enjoyed the homemade dishes and pleasant english/japanese conversation for about an hour, then said our thank yous and hit the road.

but mattseh needed a pic first.

we creepily followed a lady from the church to the basutei (bus stop), then caught a bus back to the city for cheepsies. i think we then sojourned into odori park to get a sneak peek at some of the snow sculptures. there were many, and some were mind-bogglingly huge!

icey eyes

eskimo posers...that fake fur does wonders, by the way

yoshi! (all right!) corn!

disgrace

this one put the ass in massive.

after wandering around in awe of the scores of sculptures, we went back the way we came in order to catch the promising 15-minute, 3-D, 300 yen flick showing in a little makeshift theater in the park. it was all kibs's idea, but i was on board. when it was time for the movie to start, we bustled in to get our 3-D glasses and enjoy the show.

it made no sense at all. it was the most quintessentially japanese short film ever, beginning with j-celebrities badly playing pingpong, then showing clips of the snow festival, then showing an 8 minute animated sequence about a friendly t-rex defending a brontosaurus from a streetwise, aka carnivorous, t-rex. we and an elderly couple were the only people in the joint, and i can only hope we didn't ruin the people's cinematic experience with our disbelief at the stupidity of the film! lolz! it was definitely a highlight.

dunno what else happened that day.

but the next day, we had quite a full day, indeed! we took a bus to niseko, a ski resort a few hours away from sapporo, where we'd be meeting up with another jet, micah, and his sweet girlfriend yasuno.

matt, coca-cola enthusiast, was peeing himself over the limited edition yuki matsuri (snow festival) cans that vendors were peddlin'. look at that smile!

we made it into niseko in the early afternoon, under freezing grey-blue skies. i had half a mind to milk my illness and ditch on the skiing, but after a world-assuring lunch of delicious bbq pizza, i decided that i had to pull myself up by my ski bootstraps and ganbarimasu (fight)!

blah blah, rented skis and gear from the local shop, and after a quick lesson from micah, skier/snowboarder extraordinaire--which involved a helpful visual of braking by making a pizza slice with my skis--we decided to try the bunny slope.

it went well! no falling! after a few times, we upped the ante and decided to go to higher ground.

the ski lifts offered amazing views, even though sometimes vision was obscured by the thickly falling snow. trees lining the slopes were sagging under their heavy powder loads, and as we climbed higher and higher, we seemed to be enveloped into white.

finally off the ski lift, i took a look around and immediately concluded that this "beginner" course was no bunny slope. carefully following micah, i zigzagged down as slowly as i could. no problems, got to a landing and regrouped. the next part looked sickeningly steep to me.

i inhaled, muttered, "pizza slice," and went. after a few turns, i realized i was going way too fast--so fast that i couldn't keep up my pizza slice! "pizza slice pizza slice PIZZA SLICE PIZZA SLICE!" i began to frantically squeal as i spiraled out of control, my imaginary pizza slice pathetically blown to smithereens as i crashed into the powder.

my skis came off. i lay in a limp, laughing heap until micah came over to help me put them back on, and i continued on best i could down the rest of the way. after that, it was bunny slope central for me! i ended up with a huge, hilarious bruise on my buttcheek. happily, yasuno and i tried to same slope again at the end of the day, in the midst of a blinding blizzard (and though my skis came off again and it took 10 minutes for the both of us to get them back on me), i felt really gratified and, dare i foolishly say--proud of myself! it was such a fun and exhausting day!

skiing, i liked you. we had some good times. BYE FOREVER

knackered, we got on a bus to our hotel for the evening--just the niseko village hilton, no big deal.

it was the big splurge of the trip, and it was one of the highlights of my entire time in japan! is that bad? honestly, it was one of the swankiest hotels i've ever stayed in. bonus round, since we weren't chinese nationals on holiday for new year's like the rest of the guests, the front desk bumped us up to a special corner room with panoramic views!! racist?

i think i screamed when we saw our room. free crabtree&evelyn bathroom swag, heated shower floors, the view...everything was incredible. even better, after luxuriously showering the day's snow and sweat off our sore bodies, we headed downstairs for some grub. mashuu, gentleman that he is, insisted that he treat to an amazing 4-course dinner, complete with wine! we were so famished, so excited, so bootleg, that we spent over 2 hours there, mooching as much as possible off the included bread bar. this dinner would later be topped by pizza hut, but i'll get to that in a while.

the next day, after swiping the inclusive breakfast, mashuu hit up the onsen while i mentally readied myself for snow-mobiling. an epiphany i had on this trip: i am needlessly frightened of most outdoor activities. perhaps this is due to a lack of experience. thanks a lot, mom and dad. JOKES

i could see people mobiling it up from our room...

by the time we got to the mobiling place, i was still a little nervous, but mostly excited! matt and i were the only people going, so after being introduced to ken, the instructor, we donned our helmets and gear and got a quick tutorial on how to use the mobiles. after a few minutes, off we went!

of course, on a simple turn, i crazily veered off the course and got stuck. ken pulled me out. this happened again a few minutes later.

weeeeeeee!!!

mashuu and me!

we ventured far from the hotel, through trees and on bridges over frozen rivers. if it weren't for the roar of our mobiles, it would have been silent. the scenery was some of the most beautiful i've ever seen. aside from our thin mobile path, everything was pure and untouched.

and awesomely, at the end, we got to go as fast as we wanted! turns, flips, kartwheels...jokes, but ken hopped on mine and took us on some psycho hairpin turns. yay!

long story short, we then ate lunch and went back to sapporo.

oh yes, and this was taken from our hotel room. that's a shed/house?? buried in the snow.

back in sapporo, we reunited with chris, adam, and micah and yasuno for a night of unadulterated culinary carnage. we headed to "meat brothers," a restaurant known for its "genghis khan" style of lamb yakiniku (roasted meat). we got tabenomihodai (all you can eat, all you can drink) for two hours, and ate so many plates of roasted meat and vegetables that i actually thought i could my stomach ripping open.

the walk back to the hotel helped, though. and here are just a couple of sights along the way!

sapporo is kinda like a mini-tokyo, only much less intimidating and with lots more snow!

the next day, we headed back to odori park to take more looks at the sculptures and peek at some of the snowboarders doing tricks off of a huge performance ramp. some snapshots:

the snowboarders were pretty cool, and young! some were only 17!

we hung around for a few hours, then decided to head to the museum of modern art (i was busting to get some quality museum time, seeing as they are very limited in miyazaki). the museum was quite small, so we only spent about an hour there, but it was fulfilling nonetheless. plus i befriended the gift shop old ladies, who were very kind and thought matt was hot. typical!

yes, i think this one symbolizes...oh wait, i know nothing about modern art. kthxbai

after, though, we were hungry. and we had seen ads for pizza hut all around the festival, so we figured there must be one nearby (we were wrong). using the trusty iphone, we walked for about 30 minutes to a nearby subway station, caught a train to butt-end of nowhere, and stepped out 20 minutes later into an industrial suburb outside the city. we then walked for 30 minutes, scanning all nearby edifices in hopes of spotting our beloved pizza hut...until at last we spotted it!

we burst our way in, instantly greeted by the hot, processed, delicious-smelling air. i was so hungry by this point that i was on the verge of crying. salivating over every picture on the menu, we finally made our choices, ordered, and were told it would be 30 minutes. fair enough. there wasn't anywhere to sit in this pizza hut since it was only take-out (which was a disappointment, but we were so starved we didn't care that much), so we went across the street to the konbini to get drinks and candy.

...a half hour later, having procured our 3 medium-sized pizzas (there was a promotional deal, don't judge us!!), we snuck behind the konbini to eat them. outside. in the falling snow. i have never felt like more of a bootleg vagrant in my life, but that first bite made everything--the walks, the subway, the wait-melt away into blissful nothingness.

we ate without speaking for the first five minutes or so. it was animalism at its best. finally, we took a break to remark on how good it was. then we ate more. we ate all but i think one piece. it was one of the best meals of my entire life.

and i had to snap this photo for posterity.

satiated, happy, delirious, we walked back to the subway and rode back into the city, marveling at our own imprudence, at the ludicrous fact that in total our quest for pizza hut took four hours. and at the even more implausible fact that it was completely worth it.

sidenote: rush job. i'm getting tired of writing, so i'm going to speed through the last bit. i've covered most of the important stuff by now, anyways, so stop bellyaching! jokes!

i dont know if this was the next day, but one of the days, we paid a visit to the sapporo beer museum (perhaps the reason some of you have heard of the city! the beer is relatively common in murica). it was interesting and fun, with much memorabilia and gratuitous dioramas of elves making beer, inexplicably.

old version of sapporo bottles

the truth hurts.

the museum was quite small, though good, and afterward we went to go have a wee taste-testing of some of the beery fare. we each got the 3-glass sampler, a steal for 500 yen! we sat around and drank, comparing the flavors (and i accidentally got a little drunk thanks to skipping lunch).

my futile attempt to make matt like me more :(

tipsily, we made it to the bus stop outside. it was snowing, surprise.

both of us vowed to actively seek out sapporo beer where e'er we go now. the museum really made me love the beer!

we stopped at the disappointing sapporo factory mall (used to be the old beer factory, but was converted). it was beautiful, but only had very expensive sporting stores, so clearly i had nothing to buy.

that night, we went back yet again to odori to check out the sculptures at night (since many of them are spectacularly lit up). we caught a hilarious boy band performance, quite standard here in japan. girls were screaming and all!

hold me back..

everything about the end of our trip is mushed together for me. i was feeling quite sick the last few days, probably mainly due to having denied and ignored my exhaustion for the previous 5 days! and also cause of the cold. so i honestly don't remember much about the last two days other than that my teeth really hurt and i was exhausted! but here are some random pictures for your pleasure:

ah yes, they had an international competition for snow sculptures, with dozens of countries working on pieces. these were some of my favorites:

and lastly, a few more pics of the ice sculptures decorating the main sapporo drag:

woo, huge sapporo beer! yes please!

that is a real hokkaido crab. they are jurassic-sized!

since i'm too spent to recall anything else from the trip, suffice to say that tanoshikatta desu (it was fun)! i am seriously drifting here, so i'd best be off to sleep. so glad that i'm done writing this beast.

bemoaning all the blogging left to catch up on, but fondly reminiscent,
riri

alright, alright, and one more little teaser before i legit blog

HADDO. just wanted to give a small bit of comic interjection before blogging about hokkaido (i do realize that i'm a few weeks behind, but, shoganai [can't be helped]).

today, i decided to start running again. this is mostly because i (perhaps subconsciously, in an effort to keep warm) obtained a modest layer of winter blubber. so, i donned my uniqlo workout gear and hit the streets (aka the beaten roads between rice paddies). it was about 4:30, so many shougakusei (elementary school students) were walking home. you can tell they are in elementary school because they wear cute little caps that help make them more visible to drivers. also, when they cross the street, they put an arm up high in the air, so as not to get smushed by the worst drivers on earth.

as i skirted by a rowdy group of boys throwing rocks, i said hello. they all screamed, "HADDO," and one ran after me with a huge grin, hollering, "I LIKE SUSHI!!" don't we all, kiddo. don't we all.

also today, in one of my favorite classes, the student were meant to memorize their speeches for the "show and tell" presentations this week. i wandered around, helping them practice. i spotted one of my favorite cheeksters, yuki, chatting with girls instead of working.

me: conrad (his "english" name), what are you doing?
yuki: OH. HADDO.
me, pointing at his paper: please memorize.
yuki, grinning: no...w...no way.
me, laughing: no way?
yuki: HAI. NO WAY.

i then bopped him on the head with my pen, and we all had a good hardy-har-har. i like when the kiddles get mischievous on me. makes everything much more fun!

and, of course, essay excerpts.

from a second year male who traveled to australia on the school trip:

I had a lot of good experiences and I also had many surprised experiences. I was the most surprised that I went to the rest room in Australia. Where should I saw there but aluminum wall! The rest room is an aluminum wall only! I was very surprised and ashamed but I wanted to urinate. I called up all my brave and tried to urinate. Then, I fell down uric as well as my shameful feeling. After that I did not shy. So I enjoyed Overseas English Language Programme in Australia.

note: i don't know what "fell down uric" means, but we can all use our imaginations on that one.

from one of my favorite students, yuri, after reading my sample essay:

Dear Lily

I was really impressed your essay and the way of thinking! I agree with your idea and I want to tell your idea to the current Jpanese prime minister. haha ^_^ I really want to improve speaking skills and enjoy English more! So, I love talking with you because you are lovely and kind <3>

and the next day:

Thank you for checking my essay. Love ya.

cannot handle the cuteness!

lastly for this blob, choice words from another yuki, and another of my flavorites (dame! i'm a bad sensei. but at least i don't let on who my ichiban seito are):

Japanese anime and comic have become very popular for two reasons. One is that they are easy to understand the stories. The other is that they infiltrated with the advent of nerds in all over the world. Therefore, thanks to the process of it, many foreigners could know about anime and manga. In conclusion, the reasons of their popularations are easiness to understand and the advent of nerds.

my comment: “Oh my gosh, that made me laugh so hard! I'm an English nerd :)”

and his priceless response: I'm glad to hear that you laughed so hard! Your smiles can make this world very happy ^_^ Please have confidence of not only your smiles, but also your cute face ^_^ Oh, please don’t mistake me as a playboy >_<

this from the boy who told me in november that he was thankful for my "cuteness and happy body." also, as if ANYONE could mistake a japanese high school boy as a playboy, LOL! even the "cool" ones are dweeby!

anyways, that's all for now, folks. stay warm!

munchin' crunchies in my ivory tower (thanks to a certain irish lad who doubles as my cadbury crunchy dealer),

riri